Being happy while continually improving at something is simple to achieve. The difficulty depends on your relationship to time. For many years I’ve struggled to maintain happy and productive habits. There were too many distraction or my plans were too calculated which often left me in paralysis or just avoiding the whole pursuit. Now rather than policing or defending against unproductive thoughts, I acknowledge and gently guide. It’s less of a chore and more of a chance to grow.
Accept where you are
Far from perfect, one of the major shifts in my development has been the way I perceive and appreciate time. Rather than a linear concept of a “me” walking a straight line and reacting to people and events, it’s more of a dynamic field of many things happening at once and I get to be a part of it. So I’ve let go of the need to be right, it requires too much effort. And being wrong is not a threat to my ability, it only means I am learning.
Once you accept where you’re at and stop struggling against time, you are then in the position to continually create and shape your destiny. Like the African proverb, “I am because we are,” there is no need to defend your needs over somebody else’s. There is a relaxed awareness, a natural way of being, with time as a companion, not a race or a tyranny in some elaborate scheme against “me.”
In other words, being productive is more than drive and persistence; you can drive yourself off a cliff too. It’s also about acknowledging the slew of daily interactions that I’m a part of. A regular meditation practice helps immensely to accept the natural order of things. Simply sit, breathe and observe the mind. Contemplate what it’s like to have a body, like it’s being introduced for the first time. No judgment, just breathing and aware. From this accepting non-complicated state, intentions gain power and momentum, and you attract like-minded people who have the same appreciation for time.
Accept what you cannot control
I may have moments of influence, but ultimately I don’t have control over other people’s reactions. My work is to cultivate habits that are meaningful and satisfying to me. Earth spins, scenes change, people come and go, and even good friends don’t stay at your grave forever. What matters at the end of the day is the quality of our deeds and habits.
Core values, goals, morning ritual, these things keep me on track. It’s rare that I’ll have a perfect day, but I always have a target and friends to support me. As a teacher and writer, simply showing up for the work is sufficient and am not wedded to outcomes because they continually get better.
An inner maturity ripens when you trust the nature of time and accept what you can and cannot control. It’s like discovering there has been a waterfall near your home all these years and you never knew it existed. You see people jumping and playing in the water, and birds chirping. You swim towards it, climb the rocks, find an opening and step into the waterfall. You see a quiet inner place that welcomes you to sit, breathe, and just listen to the confluence of sounds. And from this place of inner-quiet, you recharge and step out into the world with greater ease, clarity, and confidence to create.