Recently I came back to California after 8yrs of living in China. It’s been a transition of finding my footing and re-establishing myself. The call for adventure was the spark throughout the journey of going and coming back. But feeling lonely was definitely a difficult part and I had to learn to listen to it. In doing so, I realized what loneliness means to me, which is a longing toward home, not just as a living space, but an emotional oasis.
Home has many aspects but a big part of it, for me, is: who listens with you in your heart. The key word is with. When we listen with, there’s no judgement or advice giving. We are experiencing the present moment together. In that sense, we belong to the present.
So it became a central intent to listen from my own heart and keep myself surrounded with homies who share that value. This has been crucial in my journey to prevent against slipping back into the dark hole of depression, which was a main concern coming back to California.
It’s also helped to realize many others are going through similar transitions right now and everyone copes differently but a common denominator seems to be that emotional home found in relationships and within one’s own body.
Arya Salehi is a storyteller and life coach, helping people enhance their learning and fulfillment at work and in relationships. He believes in asking the right questions, rather than having all the answers. He lives in Roseville, CA.