I lost all the data on my ipad, my main productivity tool. One day at work I pulled it out of my backpack and somehow the system had reset to original settings and had wiped everything clean with nothing stored on iCloud. All the stories I had written and the time I had spent on them. Vanished. Luckily, I have things written on my work computer and in various notebooks. And the source of my memory remains intact, my mind. More specifically, the heart of my mind. But at the time, my thought was “this sucks balls.”
Later that day, I held a poetry workshop and a lesson that arose from one of the students’ stories was: somethings we cannot control, just be happy.
I’m trying something new this week: my first handwritten weblog. hence this post.
Earlier this month, my sweet friend from Norway sent me a message saying she “will use the next 6 months to write a book on letting go and be in the flow. my experiences…”
It sounded really appealing and it happens to be the central theme of my work. So this iPad magic trick does not deviate from the true work and in fact it has taken me deeper. The incident has made me step back and revisit basic questions like: what’s it all about? Why do I write? What’s the role of time and why do I feel the need to share my thoughts? Back at square one, forcing me to think anew.
I don’t write for money or credits. I write like no one is watching, otherwise it’s junkwork. The process is the insight. The journey is the treasure.
I write to see what my heart is made of and this I can’t ignore. I mean I can, but the ensuing boredom will bring me right back. The process is self-organized by a thread that pulls me. And sometimes I pull and I shake and sometimes the thread turns into an elephants’ tail. Everyone is following their own thread as part of a larger fabric that connects us.
So what’s it all about? unconditional giving and letting go. Unconditional giving and letting go.
And ultimately, letting go of letting go.
The process is self-organized like a chameleon’s skin pigments autonomously changing to mirror its immediate surroundings. So, away with the old and be as the new. Trusting, letting go, and just as I’m write this sentence, I go on the main screen of my documents list and all the old files have somehow reappeared.
mmm