The sun was out after a stretch of stormy days in Chengdu, China. I was working at the English center and had a small group of high school students. We were discussing core values. As a warm-up I asked, “what do you look forward to this week, this year?” One student had a shine in his eye and described his plans to travel to Russia with his friends. Another was keen on joining a potluck at a friend’s house that week. One student, Jeff, was sitting in the back of the class with his head slouched in his phone. When I called on him he sincerely replied, “I don’t look forward to anything.”
I reminded them, “we live in a noisy world and many people talk, yet few communicate and communication is an expression of our values.” I walked them through a “why” analysis which basically asks, “what do you honor? What is your undying belief?” I shared my story and gave examples of people and companies who have demonstrated strong why’s. Jeff was being lazy with his answers and passively agreed with other students. I told him, “I want to know what YOU think. Everyone of us has a unique story, that’s what makes the world interesting.” As a reflective exercise, I provided various story prompts and highlighted the importance of hobbies and power routines that energize vitality. Jeff was beginning to open up.
I asked them, “What’s your dream job?” And they chimed, “travel journalist,” “a doctor without borders,” Jeff spoke with a glint of conviction, “biologist.” Finally, I asked them to look inward and come up with a mantra that captures their core value. One said, “be useful,” “be true to yourself,” another “no regrets,” and Jeff said, “know myself.”