It was a full day of meetings and I was rushing to make the afternoon train. I was leaving town for two weeks to volunteer on a farm. My day’s mission was to make it to the train.
The farm was expected to be cold, so my girlfriend Ree graciously offered me her sleeping bag, which in hindsight was the greatest thing I took on the trip.
It was a hectic day and I’m knocking out the meetings. At some point, I planned to swing by Ree’s house to pick up the sleeping bag. In between my meetings, she says that suddenly she had to leave her house, so she was going to leave it with the security guard. I was fine with it.
Later as I’m dashing through the day, Ree tells me that she left it with the security guard, saying to him, “my friend will pick it up, he’s a foreigner.” Apparently upon hearing that I’m a foreigner the guard flips and replies, “If he’s a foreigner, I will charge him a fee!” They get into a little argument and then Ree texts me saying what happened.
I was outraged and I was ready to face the dragon who was the security guard. Ancient mythologies reference the dragon as the keeper of treasure. My treasure was the sleeping bag.
My mind began to ring with the negative narrative of how foreigners are disliked in China. I thought, “This guy is a fool to think I’m going to pay him anything.”
I’m not one to shy away from dragons, but I don’t actively look for them either. Often dragons and treasures go together like babies and dirty diapers. But I have also found that not every treasure needs a monster. Sometimes there is just a naked baby.
On the subway toward Ree’s house, I was expecting a heated argument with the guard. Then suddenly as I’m steaming with anger, I became aware of the emotions with the tightness in my throat and jaw. I took a pause and noticed my thoughts running like a fast train. After taking a deep breath I wondered, “what if there is no dragon?”
I was reminded to maintain an attitude of nonjudgment, which can be difficult when steaming with emotion but this is when patience is most tested. I thought OK maybe there is no senseless conflict waiting ahead but either way I got to get the sleeping bag and make it to the train on time.
I arrive at the guard’s station by the gate and I’m ready for whatever, monster or no monster. I peak inside and there was an old lady sitting in her big blue jacket playing on her phone. I saw the sleeping bag beside her, and I said in Chinese, “this is from my friend…” She replies, “mm.” I ping pong, “mm.”
I took it and left and made it to the train. Mission accomplished. On the cold farm, I got hit with the flu, which made me especially glad for the warmth of the sleeping bag.
Maintaining nonjudgment is a valuable practice to pack while traveling and it is at the heart of mindfulness. Being mindful means being aware of the present moment with an attitude of softness, of openness. Frustrations come and go, but no need to fan the flame and defend their cause.
Instead, we bear witness to the sensations within the body and open further to what is here and now. One remains vulnerable but not attached because of a basic understanding: a feeling is not absolute reality.
The practice of mindfulness is the cultivation of gentleness towards oneself and the continuous recognition of what is. By not clinging to emotional judgments we let the reality speak for itself. This takes patience and trust.
The world is not out to get us even when momentary emotions convince us otherwise. Just because you feel something it does not mean it exists. Patience tends to get tested but in the longview what matters is how we come back to the present moment.
