Author: aryask@gmail.com

Stormy and cold Pat is a kindergarten teacher, stuck in a cycle. Week after week he’s low on energy, often cold and angry with colleagues, short on sleep, and has difficulty communicating with his girlfriend, Eva. He cares deeply about teaching kids but struggles to communicate and feel at his best. Inside, he’s stuck in a stormy sea, looking for relief. Insight from listening Pat wanted calm, discipline, and connection in life so he came to me for therapy to seek out the root cause of what was in the way. I was keen to work with him because he seemed eager to dive in. Pat told me his story of being an orphan and having dual identities as Chinese and American. He didn’t feel accepted anywhere and because of…

Love is full attention, with humility, in the here and now. How fully do we show up in our relationships, at work or with friends and family? How much of it is easier to avoid or tune out? The richness of our intimate lives is dependent on how much empathy we can hold alongside awkwardness and uncertainty. Certainty kills intimacy. It's the capacity to listen and welcome an honest inquiry that transforms us. In conflict situations, when feelings are fully felt and acknowledged without judgment or bitterness, dialogue has a chance to move everyone forward. It's that heart-to-heart that nourishes us. Recently I asked my girlfriend, "what has been most eye-opening about our relationship for you?" She said, "our break-ups." They were the hardest parts over the past 7 years…

Listening is the fastest way to build trust and facilitate the development of employees. many companies struggle with this and most people I talk with say to me that leaders don't care to listen, in China at least. A friend who works at an AI company told me that his leaders see people as a tool to achieve their own goals. He said it's a world problem and it's just human nature. I agreed that leadership is a global challenge but human nature is about adaptation. Survival mode and self-protection are valid forms of adaptation when we don't feel safe. When self-worth is cemented to outcomes, a person can get stuck in the rapids of a survival state all their life. But when safety is fostered as an ongoing stretegic…

BeeNow podcast, Episode 62 Hanling Peng is a mental health counselor in Chengdu. Her work is devoted to arouse motivation in her patients to reflect and accept where they come from and who they really are.  It's a hard and romatic work, like accompanying a friend to go to an unknown land in the dark, and only at the end when the sunlight breaks into heart, one can really feel that the journey was all worth it. Hanling shares how she got started as a therapist, the importance of listening, and the dangers of avoiding negative emotions. Avoidance removes youfrom the real world,Listening means assumingyou don't know.

Ms. Tingting Chen is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Registered Art Therapist. She grew up in Shanghai and has lived in Hong Kong and United States for over 10 years. She is currently setting up her own private practice in Shanghai.  Tingting has been providing mental health counseling and art therapy services to children, adolescents, and adults. Her experience as a counselor in an inpatient psychiatric unit in the States has helped her to see human resilience even during the most challenging times. Tingting enjoys working with people to help them discover the beauty of imperfection. In this episode, we explore her journey with home and art therapy.